Thursday, April 24, 2008

James Rex, the Movie

Scene 1: December 17, 2007. Ray's Diner. 9:00 a.m.

Bob Kerns: "Jim, don't do it. Don't let down your supporters, the committee, all your donors, and the voters. Please reconsider. It is not too late."

(soon to be) King James, III: "I know my poltitcal career is over. I'm not running for anything again. I know this will kill the party. I don't care. It's a quality of life thing. I was very unhappy with Marino and Ellis. I am not finishing up that way. A quality of life thing."

Scene 2: Four months later...

King James III ponders his quality of life, now...Marino and Ellis didn't always agree with him, but they never spent every waking moment making his life Hell. King James is now a pariah within the county party. He has no respect among the county workers, he is the butt of jokes in statewide GOP circles. No candidate wants to be endorsed by him for any office. Just being identified in the media as "the Matthews choice" for any office dooms that office seeker. Perhaps the most well-known and trusted political figure in the county relentlessly seeks ways to make life miserable for His Majesty, delights in doing so, and will never stop attacking.

Scene 3: Montage

In social settings, people are becoming more and more confrontational. El turdo has to force himself on people to get acknowledgement...even resorting to "shake-rape". Gets his brother to have MCDC shairman, Marcel Groen, on "Hardball"- forming yet another alliance with a top democrat.

Scene 4: Friday, April 25, 2008...North Hills Country Club

Sipping his 5th Dewar's in as many minutes, James the Turd ponders...I thought these people still liked me. Yeah, that's right...they do. I'm here because they don't serve Dewar's next door....riiiiiiight.

Think again...

Just how is that quality of life, Jimbo?

Screenplay by: Juanada Tree Kmisczs
Director: Sweet Willie Dozer

King James the Turd: Chris "Corky" Burke
Joe Hoeffel: Tim Robbins
Bruce Castor: Arnold Schwartzenegger
Chris Mathews: Frank Calliendo
Bob Kerns: Charleton Heston (in his last, great role)
Writemarsh Editor Bill Shaw: Drew Carey

Related: Obama Loss & The Matthews Effect

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