Thursday, July 28, 2011

Alot to Say in 140 Characters or Less

Dear Ryan,

Happy 24th birthday.

24 years, 1 week ago, your mother and I were separated, she was due to deliver you, and I had heard nothing from anybody. I found out from your mom's friend, Dawn, that you were born. The phone call went exactly like this:

B: Hello?
Dawn: Bill, it's Dawn...I think you should know, you have a son.
B: uh, ummmm, a son...when?
Dawn: He was born on the 28th. His mother made me swear that I wouldn't tell you, but you have a right to know. Now go see your son.
B: (incoherent blubbering and crying)

You were a week old before I knew you existed. it took another couple of weeks before I actually got to see you., It was love at first sight.

Ryan, I've loved the very thought of you from the day I found out that you were conceived. Your mother and I really tried to work out our marriage, but that wasn't meant to be. I fought every day for 15 years to be your father, to be part of your life, to help raise you, and she tried to sabotage us every step of the way. (she went so far as to offer to have her second husband adopt you, just to get me out of your life)

She spent much of her three marriages trying to make my life, your life, and the lives of my loved ones miserable. You know there was no end to the lies and falsehoods said to keep us apart. At some point, a judge saw through the bullshit and stripped her of her parental rights.

What I'm trying to say here is that there was never a time in your life where I haven't loved you, wanted to see you, wanted to hang out with you, go fishing, just do father and son stuff.

On the day you were christened, my Pop-pop took me aside and told me "Billy, thank you so much for giving me a grandson to carry on the family name. That meant something to me, and I never forgot it.

Why am I telling this to the world? Well, for starters, nothing is perfect, not even our relationship. It was a rocky road, with lots of hazards thrown in the road by a woman who made it her sole purpose in life to sabotage our relationship. That didn't work. there were ups and downs, alot of downs, but, through it all, I never stopped loving or caring about you.

I just wanted to say, Happy birthday, son. I'm proud of you, love you, and am longing for that first grandchild with the last name "Shaw" myself.

In due time, that is...enjoy your birthday today,and if you need a ride home after all the partying, call me, you have the number.

Love, Dad.

1 comment:

Marleen said...

Beautiful Bill and Happy Birthday Ryan! You got a great Dad!

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